Lost Stars
by Brown Eyes Parker
Summary: Hal Mason was suffering from the effects of a broken heart. Hal x Lourdes. Rated T. AU-ish. Inspired by "Lost Stars" by Adam Levine from Begin Again.


**Lost Stars**

**A Hal & Lourdes Story**

**By Brown Eyes Parker**

**Summary: **

**Hal was suffering from the effects of a broken heart.**

**Rated: T**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Author's Note:**

**After a really long hiatus, I am back and writing a Hal/Lourdes story. I bet you guys didn't think you'd see me again. It isn't that I didn't want to write, I did. But every time I sat down to write a Hal/Lourdes story, I didn't have any inspiration. Finally, this story came to me in form of an idea from my youngest sister. It was further inspired by Adam Levine's beautiful vocals to **_**Lost Stars**_** for his new movie, Begin Again. **

**.**

"_Best laid plans sometimes is just a one-night stand. I'll be damned, cupid's demanding back his arrow. So, let's get drunk on our tears."_

**Lost Stars, Adam Levine **

Hal was suffering from the effects of a broken heart. All of a sudden Maggie wasn't interested in him anymore and he was left on the sidelines, watching while she and his brother went around together the way they used to. He felt even lonelier than he had felt without her, without his brothers, his sister, Anne, his father and even Lourdes. He laid awake most nights, staring at the moon coming in through a cracked ceiling and wondering what he had done to lose the woman he was in love with.

One day Weaver took him aside and told him to snap out of it, that as a fighter he didn't have time to waste on broken hearts, he needed to get over it and move on with his life. He wasn't any good to anybody depressed. But it wasn't that easy, he couldn't just have somebody tell him to move on and then magically do it. He had invested too much time and energy into their relationship to just walk away from it without even looking back even though Maggie had done just that.

A couple of weeks after Weaver had talked to him, Pope came and told him that there were other fish in the sea and that maybe he just needed to hook another one to really move on. Hal wanted to punch him in the face after he said it, but he didn't have the energy to do that. And he kind of figured that the other man was right, maybe he needed to see somebody else to get over her. . . but he couldn't do it. All the plans he had made for the future had involved her, he didn't quite know how to erase them or plan for a different future with somebody else. And he still half hoped that she would come back to him.

But she didn't. And after six months, Hal decided he was going to try and get her out of his system for once and for all. That's when he started visiting Lourdes almost every night; she was open, caring and totally oblivious to why he was suddenly paying so much attention to her when they'd only ever been friends. She was more than willing to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and try to put it back together again. That's why he didn't really feel guilty the first time he kissed her a few weeks after his initial visit to her quarters, he figured that she knew exactly what she was getting herself into. He deepened the kiss and willed himself not to feel anything at all, to not compare her to Maggie as he tasted her mouth and breathed in her scent.

He knew that if he did then he wouldn't be able to go through with it and he had to go through with it because he felt like he was dying. When it was all over, he stayed until she had fallen asleep. He knew she might be hurt when she woke up and discovered he had left in the middle of the night, but he knew that she was going to give him a repeat performance the next time he asked. She was just as lonely as he was and he knew spending a few hours a night with somebody who didn't love you was better than spending all the hours alone. She had proved that it was true the second she had let him help her out of her dress.

It went on like that for another six months. He visited her every single night and at least three times a week they would end up in her bed together, a mixture of limbs and bare sweaty skin with Ella Fitzgerald crooning on an old record player that Lourdes had found. He would keep his eyes open because when he closed them all he could see was Maggie's face.

Each time he would leave after she'd fallen asleep, he couldn't face a night of spooning or the morning after when he would have to face Lourdes in bright sunshine and a walk of shame back to his own room across the camp.

But one cold rainy Friday night his seemingly perfect plan went horribly wrong. It happened after they'd gone to bed, Lourdes was restless and it was taking her longer than usual to go to sleep. Hal stayed still and waited for her to drift off but then she rolled on her side and propped up on her elbow to look at him.

"Why don't you ever stay afterwards Hal?" She asked.

Hal was at a loss for words, she had never wanted to know why he left before and she always welcomed him back, no questions asked. No demands of him made, he had taken it for granted that one day it would come up. Before he could formulate an answer, she sighed and lay back down, pulling the covers up to her chin, warding off a shiver.

"It makes me feel cheap," Lourdes told him, her voice small and childlike.

"I thought you knew Lourdes. . ." Hal replied. "I thought you knew that this was only sex. I was trying to move on and I thought that you would be okay with this because you were lonely too."

Lourdes shook her head and sat up, the sheet falling away from her as she got out of bed and searched for something to wear. She pulled on an oversized sweatshirt with the name of a college printed on it and shook her head, wrapping her arms around her thin torso to ward off the chill. "I would rather be alone every night than be somebody's rebound girl."

"Well, why did you do it then?" Hal challenged, sitting up and looking her straight in the eyes.

"Because I loved you," Lourdes answered simply. "And I thought maybe one day you could love me back. Silly really, now that I think about it. Even after everything we've been through, I'm still clinging to school girl fantasies."

"Lourdes. . . look Lourdes, I'm really sorry," Hal said.

"It's okay," Lourdes assured him as she bent down and gathered up his clothes, she put them in front of him and then turned her back. "Go on and get out of here, I'll be fine."

He got dressed in a record amount of time, stopping for a moment to touch her on her elbow. "Lourdes. . ."

She shook her head and tilted her chin upwards to look at him, smiling sadly as she brushed her lips against his and Hal knew it was one last kiss, he wouldn't see her this way again. The nightly visits were going to end and she most certainly wasn't going to invite him into her bed again.

For the first time since they'd started seeing each other in secret, Hal closed his eyes and he truly tasted and smelled and touched Lourdes. He made fists in the soft material of her gray sweatshirt and deepened the kiss, making a memory for a million more cold rainy nights.

They pulled away a few seconds later, out of breath and their pulses racing.

"Goodbye Hal," Lourdes whispered, touching his cheek one more time.

**.**

"You look lonely."

Hal looked up and found Maggie standing in front him.

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"This has something to do with her, doesn't it?"

Hal frowned. _"Who?"_

"_Lourdes," _Maggie answered, smiling triumphantly. "She finally went and whipped you _good_, didn't she?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Hal replied.

"Look, I'm really sorry things didn't work out between us Hal. I never wanted to hurt you and at one point I did love you, but even if I had never gone after Ben, I don't think it would have ever worked out between us in the long run. You wanted things that I just can't ever see having. I didn't want them anyways."

Hal sighed. "Thanks for telling me."

"Hal, do you love her?"

"Do I love who?" Hal asked, even though he knew what she was going to say.

"Do you love _Lourdes_!?"

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter. She doesn't want anything to do with me; I _used_ her to get over you."

"Well then, you owe her a really big apology. But I'm sure she's going to forgive you because that's what you do when you love somebody."

"How do you know?"

"Because you forgave me, didn't you?"

Hal hesitated for a second. "I don't think I love you anymore. Not the way I used to."

"I know," Maggie replied. "And that's okay with me. Now go and talk to her and don't let me catch you breaking her heart again."

**.**

"Lourdes!" Hal yelled as he ran to catch up with her.

"What do you want Hal?" Lourdes asked turning around to look at him, her eyes filled with weariness and a distance that almost took his breath away.

"I miss you," he told her. "I really, really miss you. And it isn't because I'm lonely or because I want to sleep with you again. I actually realized something while I haven't been seeing you."

Lourdes folded her arms across her chest, and stood up straight. "Oh yeah and what's _that_ Hal?"

"I realized that I love you. And maybe I have for a while now but I couldn't realize it because I was a little too scarred and a little too scared to let myself feel anything again. I love you Lourdes and I'm sorry that I used you. Do you think you could ever forgive me?"

"You really hurt me, Hal. I'm _still_ hurt right now and I don't think I could handle it if you hurt me again. I've been through so much; I don't know how much more I could handle."

"I don't want to hurt you again," Hal said hesitating a moment before reaching out to cup her face with his hands. "Please say that you'll forgive me Lourdes, I don't think I'll get over you if you don't."

"It might take a while," Lourdes answered. "But I will forgive you, if that's what you really want."

"Then we can start over?" He asked, relief washing over him like a refreshing summer rain as he released a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

Lourdes smiled and nodded. "I would really like that," she answered.

"Well then, let's start all over again. Lourdes, would you mind terribly if I started to see you as more than a friend? I really like you and I would _love _to get to know you better."

**_The End_**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**Well, I'll be waiting to hear what you think of this story and if you want to see any more from me during this season. I might have a follow-up to this one-shot if anybody's interested. Click on the box below and tell me what you think, please!**

**Love,**

**Holly, 7/1/2014_**


End file.
